He's got some pep in his step today...

Biff is doing better today. He slept pretty well last night. And, once again, easy traffic made the radiation appointment relatively quick. 

He's trying some "Naked" health drinks today. So far, not bad. The little cup of pears didn't work out too well though. He loves pears, but they had no flavor at all. We're gonna try just throwing those in smoothies going forward. Regardless, he has better energy and higher spirits. 

Our plans for the day got a little off, so I'm not gonna go to the laundromat today after all. 😭🙄🤗 Aiming for very early on Thursday now. 🤞 I can make myself do it after Long Wednesday tomorrow. 

Love the wind today - clear and sunny skies are so pretty. 

I'm doing better remembering to breathe today, myself...

For the fun of it, I'm adding a little story illustrating how there is always good and bad in everything (which I think is the message for Everything Everywhere All At Once, for the record) which you can read via the "Read more>>" link below if you feel like it.

Otherwise, wishing all you sweet people a pleasant day.

Another week begins...

Done with today's radiation super quick today. And only the one appointment, which allows for a more restful day. Traffic was a breeze both directions! No rain - we were kind of disappointed: still haven't gotten to try our new umbrellas out...

He had a rough night. Slept okay but wallowed a little in self-pity when he was awake in the dark. He still avoids waking me up when he's lost in the fear and frustration. I remind him I don't mind, but he worries about me getting enough sleep!!! Crazy but so sweet.

The loss of taste and appetite are taking a serious toll. His weight was down to 181.4 lbs. today. Doc says the weight loss should level out, but we're going to start pushing more nutrition now. Not much point in trying to entice him with yummy stuff - since nothing actually tastes good. (Not that I won't keep trying.) More spinach and beans coming his way. Woohoo!

We had a nice moment in the car. A gorgeous cover by Wilson Phillips of the song "Daniel" came up in our random mix. From an Elton John tribute album. Neither of us remembered hearing it before, had no idea Wilson Phillips was actually good! 🥴 So lovely, we listened to it twice! I embrace the little moments of joy every chance I get!

His spirits and energy are doing better now. We stopped and got him that breakfast from Jack's, and he ate a lot of it, so hooray. I'll be off to the grocery store shortly, picking up more V8 and nutritious stuff.

The journey continues...

Halfway through the current schedule of treatment!!!

Check out old "Waffle Nose!" That's an impression from the freaky mask he wears during the radiation treatments. I took it after an appointment week before last. I haven't noticed this happening since, luckily. (Pretty funny - that man sure does know how to strike a pose!)

Things are going very well, all things considered. Halfway through and we're encouraged. Still a long road ahead, but we're getting the hang of it, and we're getting it done.

Biff's spirits are generally good. I won't lie: it is hard. But he's doing his part (which is not easy), and I'm backing him up as best I can. And we are determined to get to the other side!

It's a surreal experience. Simple things can end up feeling so complicated and difficult. Perhaps too often we have both exclaimed, "Why does everything have to be so hard!?!?" But we help each other, and we find a way to keep on keeping on. It's a strange time in our lives. And it has certainly opened my eyes to what other folks must go through in similar (and much worse) situations. I realize now I did not understand at all what they were going through. Before.

I'll share an example. Kinda silly in the scheme of things but seems like a good one. Yesterday I finally got myself into the shower. Amazing how difficult it can be for me to "make the time" to do that these days. But, finally, I do it. When I'd finished, just after turning off the water, standing there dripping wet and trying to decide if I'm going to apply my post-shower body oil, one of our smoke alarms went off. 

Those things are so loud. Heart immediately starts pounding, and I start laughing and crying at the same time. "Of course!!!" Biff comes and is able to identify which one it was - in a room we barely use and keep its door closed most all the time. No fire, no evident reason for it to be blaring away. Just randomly decided to jolt us. Biff is finally able to get it shut off (without having to stand on anything).

He suggests we change the battery, and while I'm toweling off, I ask him to go look and see if we have one in our battery supply. He comes back with the only one we have that fits the alarms, except it says it expired May of last year...

Like I said, nothing is quite easy. And it all is utterly exhausting. But it's mostly just little shit that usually wouldn't make us feel quite so overwhelmed. We are super lucky to have each other to find our way through these nutty moments.

And through the harder ones.

I'll apologize again for not getting more regular updates posted here. I intend to start posting shorter, more general updates regularly going forward. And, when I can manage to find the time, I'll write some longer stories about the journey. It is strange and wild. And profound and meaningful. And scary and emotional. And gratitude enhancing - if that makes any sense. 

My heart is full of love and gratitude, hope and determination. Sure, there is fear in there, sometimes even terror, but the love and the gratitude and the hope and the determination dominate. So that's where my focus will dwell.

Thanks again to everyone for sending healing energy our way, in whatever form makes sense to you. It means a lot to both of us.

He's doing well!

My apologies for a week without updates. It has been a chaotic week. I started a longer, detailed post on Wednesday during his chemo session, but I haven't been able to finish it yet. I hope to manage that tomorrow. 

For now, please know that his spirits are high,  and everything is going well. He's lost a few pounds, and he is dealing with some pain from the radiation, but so far, so good. He even had one nurse tell him he had the blood pressure of a teenager!

In some moments, he is holding up better than I am. But the Radiation Oncologist complimented our teamwork today. It helps to have another set of eyes and ears tracking things for him. Especially since "chemo brain" is a real thing - his short-term memory is spastic! And details can be overwhelming and confusing for him. Hell, me, too. But my lifetime of note taking and organizing detailed projects is paying off!

Again, I plan to post a more detailed account this weekend. It isn't all easy peasy rock and roll, but we are managing, and the doctors, nurses, and technicians are great. And everything is going according to plan, no unexpected issues.

Peace out!

8th treatment day, and the week is wrapped...

Apologies for not updating this the last couple of days. Wednesday was long and exhausting, and I just couldn't get it done. Yesterday, I fell asleep in front of my laptop and ended up napping for a couple of hours instead. Anyway.

Wednesday was chemo day. We'd expected it to be a shorter session. Biff told me last week they'd told him to expect just a couple of hours going forward, but it was 5 hours! And we'd had to get up before dawn to sit in rush hour traffic to arrive in time for radiation before the chemo - and the parking lot gate wouldn't work, had to park a little further off and walk in. At least the rain wasn't too bad.

Yesterday's radiation was quick and easy, and the drive was fast, thankfully!

And today wrapped up the 8th radiation session, first time he's had it five days in a row. And now he gets 3 days off for the long weekend. Hooray!

He had some bad headaches earlier in the week, but no more since Tuesday. Not an expected side effect, so a little worrying for me. Glad those have backed off.

His throat is getting sore. And the neck/cyst area is swollen and tender. And his voice gets hoarse more often than usual.

We had an extra appointment today with the Speech/Swallow guy, and Biff learned some new exercises to continue to strengthen his swallow function and others to help combat any impact on his voice. Impact from side effects for both areas are expected to recover after treatment ends, eventually, so working hard to preserve and strengthen, avoid the worst of the anticipated side effects in the meantime.

The Radiology Oncologist also met with us for the weekly check in, and he ordered new meds. There's a "cocktail" of medications we'll have to mix that will help with his throat pain, and an anti-fungal liquid to use (radiation treatment can cause fungal infections, so this is preventative). Took a bit of chaos to manage to get those medications before the onsite pharmacy closed up for the long weekend. Grrrrr.

A lot of dry mouth/throat that needs to be counter-acted at all times. Just ordered a humidifier - we've never had one before. And we have lots of Biotene products and various fluids to help. It's a big deal for the whole treatment, keeping him hydrated and his mouth and throat lubricated. 

It's such fun for him! 😶

But it was exciting to see Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan win Golden Globes this week for "Everything Everywhere All At Once." Biff worked with both of them directly in the movie! Such a thrill to have the film be in contention for so many awards this season, and two awards won already!! So cool.

Otherwise, we are trying to find beauty in simple things and celebrate everything we can: Traffic is light? Hooray!!!! LOL

In that vein, here's a pretty photo I was able to get outside the pharmacy today.

I hope everyone has a lovely holiday weekend. Stay safe and dry! 

5th Radiation treatment...

He felt like some fish 'n chips after radiation today. One of his favorites!

He didn't manage to eat it all, so he brought some home. Plans to have the leftovers for dinner.

We went to the closer facility this morning to do the "day before chemo" lab tests, which was super easy and quick. And saved us from having to go from radiation to the main building at the main facility later. It was raining during the quick morning trip, but the rain was gone when we left for the 12:45p. session at the main facility.

We also filled the car up with gas. Plenty of open pumps, so no waiting. Except the first pump we tried wouldn't work. Had to get help, and finally moved to a different pump. Just a little weirdness along this bizarre road. LOL

The the radiation treatment was nice and quick. Even with the doctor coming in to adjust the dressings they put on his neck before locking down the mask.

All in all, a decent day.

4th Radiation treatment...

...and counting.

Although he didn't sleep well last night, and this morning was rough, and we had to drive through relatively heavy rain, the appointment is done, and there are still no side effects causing problems.

SoCal is SO not prepared for this much rain. Kinda hilarious! But I am very grateful we didn't run into any problems. Traffic wasn't even too heavy, and everyone was driving sanely - okay, maybe that should be safely...

He is much more relaxed now that we are back home, safe and sound.

One day at a time!

First week went pretty well...

Well, 3rd radiation treatment today. He's doing fine. In fact, his appetite is huge. I think he's making up for lost time now that he's fully recovered from the surgery and the treatment isn't freaking him out as much. Ate a huge breakfast yesterday for lunch, as you can see above. And ate basically the same thing again for lunch today!

Looking forward to a weekend off from treatment, then we'll be back to it on Monday! 🥳❤️

If you'd like to read more detail and see more pictures, click the "Read More >>" below.

The first day went quite well...

 

He's doing really well. First day of radiation and chemo went great. We got out of there earlier than I expected, and traffic home wasn't too bad, even with the rain. 

But I was ready to eat once we were all settled back at home. They fed him lunch, but I hadn't prepared to feed myself... LOL

I took some pictures today - this one above was taken once we got home and found a gift on the doorstep (thank you, Bob & Sherry!).

If you are interested in more details and more pictures, click "Read more >>" below.

A small postponement...

Well, they postponed start of radiation until tomorrow morning, due to some confusion with an appointment with the dental group today right before 🤪😵‍💫🤬. Regardless, we were at the medical center anyway for the dental and some "day before chemo" blood tests. 

There was a message on Biff's cell from the Radiology Oncologist this morning, and we returned the call when he discovered it to leave a message, but we did not hear back before the original appointment. (Biff had his cell on mute without realizing it - sometimes he is such a "senior" when it comes to his cell phone! Especially the phone part. 😂)

I've spoken to the Radiology Oncologist on the phone now, and everything is fine.

Bottom line, both radiation and chemo are now scheduled to start tomorrow morning! We were able to get the full schedule finally - final treatment will be February 23. 

Long way to go... Next step, tomorrow, is a big one.