Check out old "Waffle Nose!" That's an impression from the freaky mask he wears during the radiation treatments. I took it after an appointment week before last. I haven't noticed this happening since, luckily. (Pretty funny - that man sure does know how to strike a pose!)
Things are going very well, all things considered. Halfway through and we're encouraged. Still a long road ahead, but we're getting the hang of it, and we're getting it done.
Biff's spirits are generally good. I won't lie: it is hard. But he's doing his part (which is not easy), and I'm backing him up as best I can. And we are determined to get to the other side!
It's a surreal experience. Simple things can end up feeling so complicated and difficult. Perhaps too often we have both exclaimed, "Why does everything have to be so hard!?!?" But we help each other, and we find a way to keep on keeping on. It's a strange time in our lives. And it has certainly opened my eyes to what other folks must go through in similar (and much worse) situations. I realize now I did not understand at all what they were going through. Before.
I'll share an example. Kinda silly in the scheme of things but seems like a good one. Yesterday I finally got myself into the shower. Amazing how difficult it can be for me to "make the time" to do that these days. But, finally, I do it. When I'd finished, just after turning off the water, standing there dripping wet and trying to decide if I'm going to apply my post-shower body oil, one of our smoke alarms went off.
Those things are so loud. Heart immediately starts pounding, and I start laughing and crying at the same time. "Of course!!!" Biff comes and is able to identify which one it was - in a room we barely use and keep its door closed most all the time. No fire, no evident reason for it to be blaring away. Just randomly decided to jolt us. Biff is finally able to get it shut off (without having to stand on anything).
He suggests we change the battery, and while I'm toweling off, I ask him to go look and see if we have one in our battery supply. He comes back with the only one we have that fits the alarms, except it says it expired May of last year...
Like I said, nothing is quite easy. And it all is utterly exhausting. But it's mostly just little shit that usually wouldn't make us feel quite so overwhelmed. We are super lucky to have each other to find our way through these nutty moments.
And through the harder ones.
I'll apologize again for not getting more regular updates posted here. I intend to start posting shorter, more general updates regularly going forward. And, when I can manage to find the time, I'll write some longer stories about the journey. It is strange and wild. And profound and meaningful. And scary and emotional. And gratitude enhancing - if that makes any sense.
My heart is full of love and gratitude, hope and determination. Sure, there is fear in there, sometimes even terror, but the love and the gratitude and the hope and the determination dominate. So that's where my focus will dwell.
Thanks again to everyone for sending healing energy our way, in whatever form makes sense to you. It means a lot to both of us.
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