Well, not exactly to plan, but...

Well, yesterday they were a little too optimistic in the morning. He's still in the ICU, although blood pressure is doing better. And they are adding food (all soft, pureed) and thicker liquids to drink with the nutrition they are still putting in via the feeding tube in his nose. He's still a risk for aspiration (food going into airway), so they are being very cautious - but they don't feel he needs to have feeding tube put into his side, which is good! He even asked for pudding today, separate from meals!

Yesterday, I spoke to the Oncologist referred from this hospital. He knows Biff's regular Oncologist. I gave him the contact number, and he said he'd call him and "circle back" to me, help me get that cancer element organized.

Today, Biff was very alert. He's starting to get confused about what time it is, which is common in the ICU (no windows to the outside). However, when I told him it was Tuesday, he said, "Poker night!" ☺️

My brother visited this morning, and a good friend (he actually married us) came for another visit while Dana was here. Our friend's previous visit, Biff hadn't been able to speak intelligibly at all, so he was really happy to talk to his pal again. 

And, while I was back home for a midday break, two of his poker buddies visited. They called me afterward to tell me how great their visit was. They were really thrilled to see him doing so well.

Oh, his right arm and hand are getting better, too. He could squeeze my finger with that hand for the first time even!! AND, I was there when PT came around 5pm, and that small but mighty woman, Ruth, got him standing with a walker, using his arms to help, and he even took three small steps to the side, sat down for a quick rest, then stood again for a couple minutes before he said he needed to lay back down. First time he's stood since the fall nearly two weeks ago!!! And that after exercises in the bed.

I'm hoping he sleeps very well tonight.🥰

It's a wild ride, but today was another good day. ❤️❤️❤️

Progress...

Very alert this morning! Talking better. Moved that right arm more than I've seen him since we got here!

They say if they can get his Blood pressure stabilized, they will move him out of ICU later today! Trying a new medication, so 🤞. Still getting lots of other meds, too, of course...

I am scheduled to talk on the phone with an Oncologist around noon, trying to understand how much he must recover from this before he can get back to the other track...

Barium swallow test scheduled for 2pm - hoping we can get the feeding tube out of his nose...

Nurse advised PT will be working him hard today. He says he's ready!

🤞🙏🫶

Another day, hanging in the ICU...

He started talking again yesterday! Not always intelligible, but doing better. And starting to really understand what the situation is, asking to go home... Short term memory is hit or miss, so I explain what's happening when he asks. But his spirit is really fighting to come back. I don't know how he can be so tough - he's already been through so much.

And I was advised last night that he's already recovered from pneumonia!!! They only diagnosed pneumonia Thanksgiving Day!! They obviously nipped that in the bud.

Still working on getting the feeding tube out of his nose, testing his swallow function. They believe he'll be able to do the Barium swallow test tomorrow, if he does as well as he's doing today. He ate a whole half cup of pudding!!

When I asked if he wanted me to turn on football on the TV, he said, "Chargers?" LOL Also watched Rams. I was off for a lunch break before that game was over. When I got back, Biff made a point of telling me, "The Rams lost again." 😜 Then later, I mistakenly said, "Lakers made a field goal." He looked at me, laughing, and said, "Lakers!?!?"🥰

Long, long road ahead. But today is going pretty well. He's trying so hard. And being so sweet.

❤️

The rollercoaster ride continues...

Sad to report there has been a regression. When I arrived yesterday morning, he was not able to speak again. Able to follow some commands, somewhat alert, but not communicating much in any way.

Lots of tests, scans - nothing dramatic showing, but they were able to stabilize sodium, blood pressure, etc.

Nothing has changed today, although he is sleeping mostly so far. Which is good. He needs it. 

Doctor is not surprised, this is almost expected in the ICU. He needs time and rest. He's been through a lot. "Miraculous he's even here."

Need to be patient. We'll see how the next couple of days go.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

He's doing so well...

Wow, another long day. And it's a whole different level of distraction with his sisters and my Mom with me most of the day...🤪

When I first arrived, alone at first with him, he was chatty, and speaking much more clearly, even a few whole sentences. He also asked how he got there, so he's definitely more awake and aware. Also shows some short term memory lost, but I think it's a blessing that he doesn't remember all that trauma.

I also explained that we weren't at the VA, telling him we were at the Northridge Medical Center - and from that point on, whenever medical staff asked him if he knew where he was, he said Northridge Medical Center instead of hospital, so he retained that right off.

But it was a busy day for him. PT assessed him. They couldn't get him to sit on the edge of the bed or stand yet, but they got him moving his right arm and fingers more, asking us to encourage him to do more of that... He was exhausted after that, and when the swallow people came shortly after, his speech was a little mushy, he was a less alert.

He didn't quite pass the swallow test, so feeding tube is still in. They are going to do a barium swallow test either tomorrow or Friday (they weren't sure they could squeeze him in tomorrow with only holiday staff). He had one of these back in July, and I even snagged a little video of it. You can see that at this link, if you're curious: Click here for video.

They want to make sure they didn't create any issues when they intubated him before they move forward on removing feeding tube, it have him try to eat/drink.

And they took him for a new MRI. Nothing too dramatic, but swelling it going down. I was a little nervous - last time they did MRI, I got call that they had to do 2nd surgery. This time I had to ask for a report on results. "No news is good news..."

I waited for him to ask for his phone, which he did later in the afternoon. I put it in his left hand that is currently working better than his right, and he was too tired to lift it, but talked about how heavy it was. And said he didn't have anyone he needed to call. And he didn't want me to help him look at anything. But he wanted to hold it.

I'm not sure he could figure out how to answer it just yet either. Wish I'd thought to turn ringer off, just let it vibrate instead. He usually doesn't get too many calls, so hopefully he won't get any before I go back in the morning.

He was more alert and speaking better by the time I did leave. His sisters had turned on his TV, which he really wasn't paying attention to, but he didn't want it turned off.

Back to see him in the morning. Pooped tonight. But went okay!!! Generally another good day!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow. We are feeling very thankful for all the support from everyone. May you all be safe and eat well! 🥰✌️

Miraculous news...

Not that he is out of the weeds, but today was a relatively great day.

They had reduced some sedation before I arrived, and he was more awake. A little at least. Still hooked up to all the machines, etc., but they had removed the drains and most bandages from his head.

After the doctor's visit around 10am, they stopped all sedation, sat him up more, turned on more lights in the room, encouraging him to wake up more. Then they adjusted the ventilator (breathing tube machine), and he immediately started breathing on his own. After about an hour, they removed the tube, allowing him to breathe all by himself.

And he was able to hoarsely speak a couple words and respond to questions and commands more and more. And he was definitely seeing people, responding. I think it was extra helpful that his sisters arrived to spend time with him, too! And a close friend also visited... Hell, he even had two nurses today, instead of just one - it was busy and eventful. Especially after nothing much at all, and only me visiting, the day before.

He continued to improve as the day went along. He said my name, his name, said "I love you, too" and "okay" to several questions, also nodding and shaking his head no. He gave us many thumbs up with his working left hand.

Then another big one: he moved his right arm!! It had been flaccid and useless (if you don't count it being a pin cushion for IVs) since the first surgery, but now it is starting to move on command.

Honestly, it's hard to remember everything. They removed a "central line" from his neck, too. They plan to remove his catheter at midnight (not sure why midnight, but whatever).

Let's see... They will test his swallow function again and, hopefully, remove the feeding tube from his nose tomorrow. AND they want to start PT tomorrow!!

Now, there is a long way to go. At least, that's what they anticipate, although with this tough dude, who knows, you know? But there is still the cancer, of course. And the Oncologist advised that without treatment, things will progress pretty quickly, and they can't treat for the cancer while he's in bad shape from this current situation, so we'll need to figure out what can be coordinated with all of it sooner rather than later.

But at least it doesn't look like he's going to need to relearn how to talk!! In fact, I had just gotten home from the hospital when one of the nurses called. He'd asked her to call me so he could ask me something. In a hoarse whisper (breathing tube does a number on your throat and vocal cords), he said, "Bring me my phone." LOL

That's my guy. I'm not sure how well he'll be able to use it right away, but it is clear he's still there, you know? I wasn't sure he was the last few days. But he is definitely still there!

I'm charging his phone up as I type this, and I'll be bringing it to him first thing in the morning.

Maybe next post, I'll even add a picture. I've been taking them, but it's been too hard to share them. Maybe when we're past the worst of this, if he's okay with it, I'll share some of them. Maybe not. I only consider it because the transformation from one day to the next has been crazy. Good and bad. It's really amazing.

And the beat goes on...👏👏👏👏🫶

Well, we'd hoped for good news on November 16, but...

Apologies again for getting so behind on the updates here. This is going to be a quick, abbreviated recap only. It's all I can manage just now.

The final cycle of chemo went pretty well. It zapped his strength again, but he was recovering well and feeling better and better after the last round. He had a new scan on the 13th, last Monday, and he was scheduled to see the Oncologist on Thursday the 16th to discuss results and plans going forward.

It breaks my heart to share that he had a bad fall around 5am or so that morning. Although I could see no evidence of injury, he said he'd hit his head hard. For the first time, for all the falls in the last year, his head ached horribly, and he was somewhat confused and not always making sense when he talked to me. He also vomited.

I asked if he could tell me his name, and when he couldn't, I called 911 for the first time.

They took him to a hospital ER nearby. I joined him there. They processed him quickly, and a CT scan was done, and a large bleed showed, requiring immediate surgery. Which happened a little later that morning.

Post-op there were signs of improvement initially. However, yesterday the swelling started to expand again, and they performed the surgery again.

He remains in the ICU currently, fully sedated. He is intubated to help with getting all his vitals and "levels" stabilized. They have started giving him some nutrition via feeding tube. They've been pumping potassium, magnesium, fluids, electrolytes and more that I couldn't name.

I am not sharing every detail, but the situation is critical, and the next few days will be difficult while we see how things progress. Unfortunately, the last year of cancer treatment has complicated everything.

I fear it does not look good. If he survives, long-term rehab will be necessary.

I will post again, with updates, as best I can. 

In a year of horrors and scary shit, this is the worst. I sit with him, tell him how much I love him, how much everyone loves him, whatever comes to mind in the moment. It hurts more than I can say that he can't respond. 

I keep telling everyone at the hospital what a great guy he is, that if he could speak, he'd be making them laugh. And I know they are taking good care of him.