Wow, it's been over a month since I posted an update! I'd say I can't believe it, but the truth is, I do believe it. LOL It's been hectic for me the last couple of months...
The good news is that Biff is doing great! He's gained about 10 lbs. since he's been home, hovering around 150 lbs. now. He's eating much better. His appetite is better and the residual taste problems continue to resolve.
He's had two of the new immuno-only infusion treatments now (they happen every three weeks). The first one left him pretty fatigued for several days, but he really picked up energy and strength once he'd recovered a bit. And then the second treatment knocked him back, but not nearly as much. Don't get me wrong, he still wears out relatively quickly, and he's not pushing himself too hard to be super active on a daily basis, but he's making excellent progress.
One of the common side effects of the immuno therapy is impact on his thyroid. They've added thyroid medication to counteract that issue (I don't fully understand - have gotten a couple of different explanations, but his test number should be 5 or less and his was at 14 - whatever that number measures!?!?), and that is probably helping with the fatigue, according to his Oncologist when we saw him last Thursday.
Biff's blood pressure still tends to hover at the very lowest edge of the acceptable range, but he doesn't notice any impact - he doesn't feel dizzy or anything. Although that can also be contributing to the fatigue issue.
He's completed the currently approved at-home Physical Therapy sessions, and we're waiting for a new evaluation. I believe they will either approve more at-home sessions, or they will decide he's ready to go to on-site sessions. We'll find out!
In the meantime, he's still being seen by a nurse at the house once a week, and we have an aid that comes once a week to help him shower. Perhaps that's an abundance of caution, but it's a big relief to have a trained professional come help him with that. No idea how long these services will continue. But, he's back in the VA system, seeing various doctors already to keep everything on track.
A week or so after the next immuno infusion on March 6th, they will do another scan, and we'll go over those results with the Oncologist later that week, see how well the treatment is working on the cancer. I feel pretty hopeful on that front because his appetite is improving and he's gaining weight. So, fingers crossed!
Some exciting news, too: he's been booked to come back on "Night Court" as his recurring character, Kenny! Even though he doesn't look quite the same these days. So, he'll be working on the Warner Bros. lot next week.
I'll be able to drive him and even hang out to keep an eye on him. I know that lot well, having worked for WB for a few years awhile back. I figure I'll find out if someone is going to be able to take extra care of him when we go in on Monday, when I plan to stick around for the whole time no matter what. If they do, I may not stay the whole time every day, but I can. Even if I just go hang out at the Commissary with my laptop and stuff, so I'm handy if needed.
I'll admit, I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm shifting to excited to see him get back out there. We've been doing some taped auditions lately, too, although he hasn't heard back on any of those yet. Thank goodness, in a way. He's not ready for a crazy busy schedule (neither am I - I've had to juggle a variety of appointments for next week as it is). But working on a sitcom, in a situation he's already familiar with, and they love him (he was on the original "Night Court" back in the 80s/early 90s, and they asked him back for the new version back in 2022 - three or four episodes now!) - if he can handle any on-camera work, he should be able to handle this! We will, of course, let everyone know when the episode is going to air when the time comes.
Otherwise, the pups are doing well. Wiggles really has some trouble with the rain - does not like to go out in the wet and cold to do her business, so accidents have continued in the house, but she's a delight and learning. We'll get that sorted eventually. She's more and more affectionate with all of us, although I think Bopper is still her favorite. They cuddle together a lot lately.
As for me, I have to admit the last two months have often been brutal. The load has often felt too heavy, and I've struggled. Sank into a pretty dark place for a couple of weeks. But I'm getting a better handle on dealing with everything. Have adjusted my depression/anxiety meds, too, and started talk therapy again (although I'm not sure this new therapist is a great fit yet, but I'll give it a couple more sessions before I consider a change). I am basically handling (sometimes better than other times) everything. The most distressing issue now is an excessive amount of complicated paperwork, in part because I jumped on catching some things up while he was in the hospital/rehab, following up on outstanding projects, and more things have developed in terms of medical insurance issues, and more craziness with LIFE CRAP that can lead me to moments of hysteria. I'm trying to just accept and roll with it, do the best I can and be at peace with that, but it is still overwhelming me at times.
And it's just been a season of nothing going easy. Like discovering during the rodent extermination treatment that we have subterranean termites and then a water pipe being broken during the treatment for those nasty termites, which stopped everything on that treatment and has left our outside water turned off since the pipe broke - back on December 29th! So, I've been dealing with trying to get the exterminator company to get the pipe fixed for about two months now, not to mention finish the termite treatment. Hell, I had a crazy nightmare ordering pizza when we had some dear friends come over to watch Self-Reliance at the house! I mean, c'mon - ordering pizza is usually a slam-dunk!
And it was really fun to get a Jury Summons, too.........ðŸ˜
But I'm doing better now. I know there will be times I sink into the pit again, but those times pass. And I never completely gave into it this time. Years in the past, I would have climbed into bed for at least a week. This time, I still was able to do what absolutely had to be done to take care of our family and household. Honestly, that's a huge victory for me!
And I'm making it a priority to take some time for creative pursuits, particularly digital art, but I'm also hoping to get a creative writing practice going. And I've started to Zentangle again. It's so fun and also quite relaxing. My beloved sister, Daphne, gave me a cool blank book for Christmas. It's cover reminded me of Zentangles, and I wasn't sure how I would fill the book... Then I realized it would be a perfect opportunity to get back to doing Zentangle! It is a meditative practice.
I continue to learn about strength I didn't know I had. And how to forgive myself for not always being solid and cheerful. Caretaking is a tough job. And finding balance will be an ongoing process. Onward and onward.
And I know Biff continues to find strength and resilience and is looking forward to getting back to his career again. Things will never return to the life we led before all this - and, hell, the pandemic before that! And that's okay. We're in the process of figuring out what's most important and what's possible to have in this new life before us.
Usually life changes in less dramatic ways, little by little, less painfully, less noticed. But the truth is, it is always changing. Just gotta keep going and enjoy the change, the revelations, the growth. Even when it's painful. It seeems to me, in this moment right now, it's the pain that reveals the profound. If that makes any sense.
I truly hope 2024 is treating everyone well. May you all be safe, warm, dry, and comfortable.
